Golf Club Waiting List Exceeds Life Expectancy for Islanders

A stunned Island was told yesterday that the waiting list at Jersey’s most prestigious golf club now exceeds male life expectancy in Jersey. It has been confirmed that the wait is now just over 85, so most people on the list can expect to be long departed when they are actually admitted as members.

A spokesperson for club said of the demographic time-bomb, “This is sad but inevitable news, and although the idea of culling the higher handicaps among the senior membership was mooted at the last AGM, the idea was ultimately rejected by the floor”.

The club

Sadly for Tarquin, it's going to have to be pitch and put at St Ouen

Sadly for Tarquin, it’s going to have to be pitch and put at St Ouen

is suggesting that parents put their children down on the waiting list approximately 40 years before they are born. This will ensure that they secure full playing membership by the time they are 45. Unless, of course, everyone else adopts the same strategy.

Angered by the shock announcement, the States vowed to call in independent consultants to review the situation.

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